so you want some teeth stories huh?
Well I got a couple that will crack you up…
A long time ago me my brother, and 2 friends went to the beach in gloucester to get drunk and hit on all the women, well, after awhile we started walking the beach that ended and turned into huge rocks and huge ledges then one of us spotted a few bouy’s floating pretty close to the shore, we new there was lobsta pots tied to them so we started to hook one with a big stick which didnt work so i jumped in and tried to drag it close enough so the guys on the 10 foot ledge could drag it up, I could’nt get it close enough so the guys jumped in and we made like a chain from the bouy to the ledge and started draggin it in, I was the the 1st guy in the chain and i had a real good grip to the ledge so there we were , shitfaced also,
Well because the lobsta pot was so deep (we were way ova our heads , the ledge went like 20 feet unda the surface to the floor of the ocean,)
So as we’re pulling, the tension of the rope and the depth of the pot started to tighten and pull us unda the water, The guy furthest out went under the most ya no?
Well , Were laughing our ass’s off, the huge waves are smashin off the ledge wall, we’re hand to hand stretched out and pracktically drowning , I’m laughing so hard and swallowing water my top dentures come flying out and start sinking to the bottom, so i let go of them and they’re trying to swim around me to the ledge, the waves are smashin, total caos, Losing them would have ruined me, so I could just barely see the glare of the sun reflecting off my teeth, so i take a deep breath and make a swim for them,
I remember opening my eyes and seeing them, they were so far away , im thinkin theres no way im gonna catch up to them before they disapear unda a rock or something.
I’m completely out of air, I was rite at the point of drowning , I had to cover my mouth wit my hand so i would’nt breath water, i’m like 15 feet down, the teeth are like 2 feet from getting lost in the rocky bottom, I could’nt make it, so in one last desperation attempt i stretched my arm out as far as i could, closed my eyes and reached out and the split secong that they went between the rocks i rememba closing my hand and feeling them in it… I couldn’t believe i had them,
I rememba breathing in ocean water on the way up, So i get to the surface chokin and pukin sea water up and them guys (who had no idea i had lost my teeth) just sat there laughing histerically over what we had just tried to do not no’n i almost drown.
Well we gave up on that pot but found some other ones and ended up with a lobsta each
I rememba messin with my girlfriend one time when we were walking side by side when rite before i was gonna sneeze i looked towards her so my sneeze juice would land on her, Then when i sneezed my dentures came flying out and bopped her rite on the cheek, lol so im in emergency mode trying to pick them up before one of us stepped on them
she started whalin on me cuz she didnt know it was my teeth that bopped off her face, she thought i finga flicked her… it was pretty funny,
ok this is the best one…
bak in the day me and my friends of like 10 of us that hung out togetha all the time… always prankin each otha and havin fun,
well one nite we filled a cooler with all kinds of booze and fresh fruit so we had to drink out of plastic cups, 5 of us were standin in a circle messin around and i managed to sneak my top dentures into laura’s cup without her knowing, so i whisper to dave and brian what i had done and i challenged everyone to see who could suk down there drink 1st, I thought i was gonna pull the funniest prank eva on her and we started to suk them down lookin over the rim of the cup to see her reaction when all of a sudden she flung what was left in her drink into the woods behind us and said, “whew, I can’t finnish it” and i’m like, no way… my teeth were in your cup and now they were somewhere in the woods,
Instead of freaking out when she noticed my teeth while she was sukkin it down she decided to turn the prank around and play it on me…. and boy did she eva, it was dark so it took me like 2 hours of searchin on my hands and knees with a bic lighter to find them… lolol
~Tom Welch, 47, MA
